Update

This week has been pretty uneventful.

My proud moments: Talking myself out of take out and instead preparing meals at home.
Talking myself into going to the gym even though I felt really fat (you think this would encourage gym going but sometimes not for me.)
And eating lots more greens, fruits and learning how to prepare a portobella.
I avoided papa murphys cheesey saucey pepperoni pizza and opted for thin crust with a sprinkle of cheese and three different vegetables. And you know...the healthy pizza was more delicious than the pepperoni. 

Bad moments: It wouldn't be fair if I didn't recognize the bad.
I opted to skip the gym today because I ate so late.
I went crazy on the starch today and felt...prepare for TMI...constipated. What? Like I haven't reveled worse confessions on this thing?
And I had a yogurt today..fart city. I swear when i start dating I can only dine on dairy free gluten free meals. Vegan restaurants and Asian places here I come. 
I have not stuck to my no carbs after 5 thing.

Yesterday I tried to at least stick to a gluten dairy free day but my quinoa pasta was not good!

I have raved about brown rice pasta...well as much raving as one can do over anything gluten free so I figured I'd try quinoa pasta. The brand is always on sale and now I know why. No good. I'll stick to quinoa in quinoa form but this...just kind of made me want to gag.

Part of the beef with switching into a healthier lifestyle as I have mentioned before on here is DO NOT LET YOURSELF GET HUNGRY!

When you get hungry you are more likely to cheat. You will seek comfort in your favorite foods and go overboard. At least I do.

I am all for people making resolutions to get fit and healthy but please don't be dumb and say I WILL NEVER EAT PIZZA OR FRIES EVER! That sounds like a shitty life dude. How bout just picking two days a month to eat those things. Some of the fittest people I know practice an 80/20 ratio. 80 good 20 naughty. I am still working on this with myself...i'll let you know how that goes.

So I feel my body starting to get back into the groove of working out. I had taken such a long hiatus that I didn't want to cause injury. Therefore next week will really be interesting as my work outs will be getting longer and harder. My favorite spin instructor is back and I'll be taking that class again, more elliptical, a day of weights (for two weeks than i'll add another day) and barre or yoga or pilates. I found barre and pilates online so I am excited for that. I'd love to be money bags and go to a studio in seattle but I just can't hack that.

My food will be stricter too. I've been very lax these days and just wanted to focus on making better choices. Changing your food needs to be realistic. I am aware. I don't believe in low carb dieting either and that is what paleo is so please save me the commentary. I did low carb diets lost 15 gained 30! But because of my insulin resistance and savage body I need to lay off the starch. Lord give me mercy. Next grocery visit I need to invest in some cashews and walnuts, lean proteins, fruits and dark leafy greens.

I want to focus on reducing carbs through out the day, most in the morning and focusing on good carbs; gluten free steel cut oats, Kind Granola with fruit and greek yogurt, ect, sweet potatoes, quinoa kale salads and tofu wraps for lunch and dinner ending with some lean protein and lots of vegetables.

I agree with paleo about reducing starch for better complex carbohydrates (avocado is not a carb but okay people) lessoning the sugar intake or depleting it and eating fresh produce. Healthy food equals healthy you I think we can all agree on.

What will really keep me motivated is why I want and need the change. Like this brave woman in this video I too feel stuck in my life. Everyone seems to be moving at warp speed into the future and I feel held back. It was liberating not to really give a fuck last year but the reality of that is dawning on me. I don't want this year to pass without making serious changes. I feel like I have wasted too much time but every day is another opportunity to turn it around. I'll keep you posted and more recipes to come.

http://www.wimp.com/womangym/

“You must be the person you have never had the courage to be. Gradually, you will discover that you are that person, but until you can see this clearly, you must pretend and invent.”

—	Paulo Coelho

"It ain't easy being green."

Breakfast was avocado toast on sprouted grain bread and kiwi with Kind granola. It did not fill me up in the slightest. I came back from my Nordstroms adventure hangry. I was about 95% vegan today but I was 100% dairy free so that is something yes?

Lunch was a prepackaged soup thing and left over BBQ chips from the hipster cafe by my work. Not super healthy but like i said I was hangry and needed sustenance  that wasn't meat/dairy because its MEATLESS MONDAY! And yeah you know trying to eat more vegan friendly things.

This was dinner. I instagramed it. The vegan bloggers loved it. It was a decent meal and very healthy. Though it was my first time cooking Portobellas. I think with a few changes to seasoning it can be very delicious. Not bad for my first time though.

Regardless I am happy with this meal. I really just wanted spaghetti for the millionth time but i was like Vitoria...you bought all this hippie stuff and you are going to eat it! No one wants to fuck the spaghetti monster so get it together! Okay...me okay..

 

Quinoa and kale salad with apples: 1/2 cup of cooked quinoa. Kale massaged with 1/2 avocado. juice of 1/2 lemon and some garlic salt. Add cooked quinoa to kale mixture and add sunflower seeds and diced apple.

Portobella: remove stem and gills. Make x in the hat of mushroom. Brush with olive oil and season with salt and pepper. Bake at 400. Allow each side to cook for ten minutes.

Sweet Potato: Bake at 400. foil wrap the potato but spear it with a fork or knife a few times. Put on foiled bake sheet (when cooking sweet potatoes squirt and can leave a mess). Bake for 1 hour. 

p.s: I topped my potato with earth balance butter and salt. 

The day was mostly successful. I went to the gym and had a post gym snack of celery, hummus and orange slices. 

Tomorrow I will be eating meat for dinner. Its also the first night I am implementing no starch after 5 rule. Salmon burgers and stir fry veggies will probably be on the menu.

In other news I will need to break the bank to get nuts. Gosh damn cashews, brazil nuts and almonds are costly!

This year

 

1: Doubting myself. 

2: Oh gosh, either dance or archery. Fencing would be cool too.

3: Someone who has their shit together and oozes intelligence. Mads Mikklesons Hannibal also makes me want to be a better person.

4: Donate more. Walk fat Sir Winston the pug more.

5: Greenland and Iceland. Europe forever. 

6: I am Malala, books on animal ethics and rights and anything written by Gloria Steinem

7: I would love a penpal!

8: I'd like to try more vegan food and new restaurants. 

9: Being on time and waking up early. Throw in going to bed at a respectable hour as well.

Warrior Dash Training

Okay Okay. I know what some of you may be wondering. Vitoria...where is your new years resolution to lose weight? Well i didn't make one bitches! Why? Because losing weight, being healthy and staying that way is a lifetime goal not just a goal for the new year. Last year I gave myself a lot of shit for wanting to be healthy but reverting back to abusive patterns. I probably need to see a shrink to find out why I did that. Part of the reason that I recognize though is I was so petrified of failure that when i did fail i would fail miraculously. I have a lot of self doubt that could have been brought about by childhood. When a teacher told me I was not good enough or smart enough my parents would side with them, when I fell during rollerskating or fell off my bike my dad would yell at me and then would tell me to leave it be. When my parents tried to get me to play a sport I was not interested in I'd throw a fit and they'd get mad at me and leave it be. I'm 29. I don't blame my parents for the way I am today and I know in many other departments my parents were and are great people and I am very lucky to have them but that residual "oh well you failed so just leave it." feeling still exists.

So whats a girl to do now? Well....in November I signed up for the Warrior Dash with my friend Jen. We wanted to do it last year but found out too late and the sign up fee was more than either of us could afford. But a sign from the God and the Goddess herself, the sign up fee was cut in half for cyber monday so we signed up that morning. By signing up I made a promise to myself. To train as hard as possible for the event, to start eating like a healthy adult and not a college student or as a friend called it, "12 year old whos parents are out of town) until the event. The event I think is the end of July so I have a long time, but that time will pass before I know it (ugh!)

Whats the plan you ask? I took a gym hiatus so the first two weeks are just light routine to get back into the groove of things. 30 mins of spin bike one day followed by stretching, 35 min treadmill, 30 min elliptical, 30 min bike, 35 min elliptical. Very very basic right? Eh... I took a long hiatus. I'm not trying to be lazy I am just not wanting to cause injury and still get my body use to moving. I did also sign up for a 10 day abs yoga challenge that i started yesterday. If I have some extra money by mid next week after I pay off le ipod, gas and pay the gym then I am going to drop in on a local ballet class. Its for beginners so I will be with 16 above people. Its 8 dollars to drop in but I have to buy some ballet shoes( hence why I need to see how much I have next week)

After the two weeks are up. I will stick to (for the following two) the five to six times a week work out. 4 days of cardio, one of strength and one ballet/yoga/pilates. I need the three at least once a week to work on my balance. One of the challenges of warrior dash is balance beam. I have zilch balance. Balance is all in core so I need to focus daily on that. After that two weeks is up I will be adding two days of strength training. The rest of the challenges are pull up type deals. I have no upper body strength and never have. Even at my fittest, it was the weakest. Training upper body is a must. BUT i need to still up my cardio 45 min to an hour and i need to keep yoga/pilates/ballet or else I will bulk. Muscle burns fat so it is crucial that when one wants to lose weight they incorprate it in their work outs however once upon a time when i had a trainer he told me that my body loves to build muscle. It builds it much more easily than burning fat. So to be careful when training and not over do it. Cardio Cardio Cardio he told me but don't forget to lift.

My food plan will probably be to gradually reduce starch through out the day. None after 5. Vegan wraps or some breakfast cereal is okay on certain days. Basically lean protein, veggies, some fruit (berries) are to become my bestest friends.

I do have a goal for the dash. I would like to have dropped between 40-55 pounds. That is a lot yes? Well...its what I want and I do think its doable with the proper training and a healthy attitude about food.

Now whats so different about this year than last, that you might be asking? Last year I did want it. I wanted to be fit and happy and secure but I had a lot of hurdles thrown my way on top of dealing with a break up that didn't leave me crushed but left me feeling like i wasted a lot of time. This year i did find out something about me though that was a glimmer of hope. I am a huge nerd and I took the sorting hat quiz on Pottermore written by the one and only J.K Rowling. I got sorted in the house Slytherin! I never thought of myself as such because Slytherins are ambitious, cunning and a tad arrogant. But according to Sorting Hat you are placed in a house by traits that you possess that you may not recognize within yourself. Everything Slytherin stands for is what I long to be. Anyway I am ambitious and cunning...I will meet my goal this year and I will not stop until I have it within reach.

I also want to date. Remember my post a couple hours ago about being fearless? I will start dating again soon. I have been over my ex for a long time now, it wasn't that that was holding me back. I was happy being by myself. I've said it time and time again I seriously DON'T GET people who can't be alone. I loved it. I had my pugs, my friends, family and I loved just doing what I want when I want. Its a great freedom. And I still would chose being single and happy than in a relationship and unsure. It was also just not a good time financially for a relationship...again one of the benefactors in me not losing weight last year or choosing not to date. But it has been a while and I would really like to start going out on dates again. I'm 29. I'm still youngish and a relationship is something I would like in my life. I'll probably reopen my match.com page( I deleted it because I was paranoid about being fat. God damn it be fearless you!) in march. After valentines so there is no pressure and yeah! I'm excited to reopen that up. And if someone like Tom Hiddleston comes into the museum store and asks me out before they then .....how you doin?

Of course I will keep you all updated on my fitness challenges. I'll only post weight stuff when I reach milestones. ie minus 15 pounds, new smaller jeans, goal weight ect ect.

One Two Vegan Meals

Gluten free cheerios from natures path, bananas with coconut sugar and unsweetened almond milk.

Baked tofu(at 375) marianted with sesame and tamari veggie stir fry with brown jasmine rice

These are also a very good candy treat that just happen to be vegan. I purchased these at Fred Meyer.

Can you believe I was still hungry after this? I'm a beast!

This was from my first day of attempting a vegan cleanse. I ultimately gave in to orange chocolate which normally I don't like but I was very hungry. Never give yourself crap for messing up a meal plan. Works of art take time to perfect. All you can do is pick up and try again. Though I think I have thrown in the towel on being fully vegan, I still plan to include many vegan meals in my diet. I am poor so finding plant based proteins is easier for me than spending 30 dollars on a five pound organic chicken.

My insulin resistance also prevents me from being fully vegan. I felt wretched my first night. Not sure if it was all the fiber from veggies and fruit or the tofu? But being insulin resistant means when i eat starch my blood sugar sky rockets which could eventually lead to DIABETUS! I really do not want to become a diabetic or infertile (I don't think i want kids but I'd like the option!) so its important I do include some lean animal protein in my diet. I think if I became a raw vegan my stomach would explode.

With that said though. I promise as a resolution to this blog to post more food recipes and work out updates. Thanks to my cool sister for getting me this book, i am excited to share more food experiences with you.

and thanks to my co-worker and friend Ale (THE VEGAN!) for introducing me to this magazine. This helped me come to the resolution that I want to become more ethically aware of everyday life choices. And best part is they're not PETA! PETA sucks..... I don't believe in shock value to educate. I believe in actual facts.

That burger looks fantastic btw. I think I may have to subscribe to this magazine.

2014

My insomnia has got the best of me tonight. I did not help it by 1. working out at ten at night. 2. Drinking tons of water at dinner and during the work out so am now a piss machine. 3. I can't get off pinterest.

I hope everyone had a great new years eve/day. I worked all day on new years eve, went to the grocery store to procure some vegan friendly items and then...went to pizza hut. The sisters and myself and Kathie desired pizza to bring in the new year. The thick cheese was too much for my savage internal organs and I awoke at 5 am to gut wrenching. I was fine after that but the following evening of day 1. trying to be vegan ended with another brutal stomach ache. I really don't know what caused the stomach ache last night but i could barely even sit or lay down. I think it may have just been anxiety or low blood sugar, probably the combo. At any rate I don't think veganism is cut out for me. But...i want to incorporate vegan meals into my diet as I have discovered i like tofu sandwiches and wraps as well as stir frys. Also I am really digging mushrooms which is a vegan staple.

I had originally planned on a 14 day vegan fast but alas when i went to the grocery store a lot of the vegan staples were out and there was noooo gluten free wraps available. I thought i could subside on tofu stirfry and brown rice alone but my body was craving some more food. So I gave in today to some really weird cravings. A piece of orange chocolate, three bites of steak,  ready whip from the can with bananas (olive the pug helped me eat it), and a small side of spaghetti with asparagus. Okay so not awful cheats but awful to a vegan or any health nut. I felt guilty. Like catholic guilt of time to bring out the whip and feel as jesus felt guilty. But I realize a huge  mistake I made last year that if I want to succeed in weight loss and life changes i need to avoid. Don't give up just because you met a few bumps or potholes in the road. Keep going till you reach your destination.

With that intro do you want to know if I even have resolutions. The answer is yes. Despite being known for being cynical I have always had high hopes and what does President Snow say from HG? "The only thing greater than fear is hope."

My first resolution is sorta tied in with my attempt at being a vegan; Live more ethically and fearlessly. Factory farming is destroying our planet and to me there is no excuse to treat an animal with such disrespect. That pig is feeding your family. Why do you not care about its livelihood prior to slaughter? Why would you expect a sick animal to keep you healthy? Now I am not anti meat, (puh-lease!) but livestock was never to be tended to in such an inhumane way.

What I'd like to do is really consider the meat and dairy i decide to consume. I don't need dairy but after just a couple of days sans meat I realize its something i do need in my diet especially if I am successfully going to lose weight. That means buying as healthy quality as I can afford meat, try to purchase organic and or locally grown fruits and veggies, attempt to eat in season, no take out (take out means more garbage), don't be wasteful, shop ethically clothes wise (do I need to spend 100 bucks on made in china shit that I don't need? No I need to avoid WHEN I can and just hit up buffalo exchange.) always carry my own totes, reduce plastic usage which means packaged foods, plastic Tupperware, and again take out.

My second is this: Oh shit I didn't touch on the fearless part. Okay that should be its own very broad thing. Live Fearlessly. Two friends of mine were talking about another friend the other night at dinner. Nothing mean or cruel was said, but Friend 1 I'll call her said Friend 2 had a hard time going beyond her comfort zone. Friend 2 will make excuses to not drive late, to not eat somewhere, to not believe in such and such to not date ect. Friend 2 is an awesome smart gal but I recognize this within her and its always perplexed me. While Friend 1 said this to Friend 3, Friend 3 agreed with Friend 2s fear of going beyond her comfort zone. "I'm the same way. I won't do it." Truth be told Friend 3 doesn't do anything beyond her comfort zone. For as long as I can remember she rarely does. I feel that this has held her back from a lot in life, but lets not judge her, this is about me. I too have a similar fear. I didn't want to do ballet last year because I thought I was too fat. Still a lingering fear. I didn't want to date in 2013 mostly because I just got out of a long relationship but a part of me was very hesitant dating at this current size. I was scared of hurting someones feelings so I stayed with someone for nearly 4 years. I was scared of leaving my job without another to back it up (still am!) The point of all of this is yes...we all have fears. Fear is a perfectly normal thing to feel, but you can not let it hold you back. Who suffered from not doing ballet last year? Me. Who didn't even try to date and ran away screaming from it? me. If I were to get to my goal weight I'd have no excuses on holding back but I believe a fear would still be there.  Perhaps one of the reasons I did not succeed in losing weight last year was because I was scared of what would happen after I did. I really wouldn't have any excuse. Decide you want it more than you are afraid of it. 

 

Really all of these as well. Wise advice to anyone who is really stressing about new years.