I hope everyone had a great new years eve/day. I worked all day on new years eve, went to the grocery store to procure some vegan friendly items and then...went to pizza hut. The sisters and myself and Kathie desired pizza to bring in the new year. The thick cheese was too much for my savage internal organs and I awoke at 5 am to gut wrenching. I was fine after that but the following evening of day 1. trying to be vegan ended with another brutal stomach ache. I really don't know what caused the stomach ache last night but i could barely even sit or lay down. I think it may have just been anxiety or low blood sugar, probably the combo. At any rate I don't think veganism is cut out for me. But...i want to incorporate vegan meals into my diet as I have discovered i like tofu sandwiches and wraps as well as stir frys. Also I am really digging mushrooms which is a vegan staple.
I had originally planned on a 14 day vegan fast but alas when i went to the grocery store a lot of the vegan staples were out and there was noooo gluten free wraps available. I thought i could subside on tofu stirfry and brown rice alone but my body was craving some more food. So I gave in today to some really weird cravings. A piece of orange chocolate, three bites of steak, ready whip from the can with bananas (olive the pug helped me eat it), and a small side of spaghetti with asparagus. Okay so not awful cheats but awful to a vegan or any health nut. I felt guilty. Like catholic guilt of time to bring out the whip and feel as jesus felt guilty. But I realize a huge mistake I made last year that if I want to succeed in weight loss and life changes i need to avoid. Don't give up just because you met a few bumps or potholes in the road. Keep going till you reach your destination.
With that intro do you want to know if I even have resolutions. The answer is yes. Despite being known for being cynical I have always had high hopes and what does President Snow say from HG? "The only thing greater than fear is hope."
My first resolution is sorta tied in with my attempt at being a vegan; Live more ethically and fearlessly. Factory farming is destroying our planet and to me there is no excuse to treat an animal with such disrespect. That pig is feeding your family. Why do you not care about its livelihood prior to slaughter? Why would you expect a sick animal to keep you healthy? Now I am not anti meat, (puh-lease!) but livestock was never to be tended to in such an inhumane way.
What I'd like to do is really consider the meat and dairy i decide to consume. I don't need dairy but after just a couple of days sans meat I realize its something i do need in my diet especially if I am successfully going to lose weight. That means buying as healthy quality as I can afford meat, try to purchase organic and or locally grown fruits and veggies, attempt to eat in season, no take out (take out means more garbage), don't be wasteful, shop ethically clothes wise (do I need to spend 100 bucks on made in china shit that I don't need? No I need to avoid WHEN I can and just hit up buffalo exchange.) always carry my own totes, reduce plastic usage which means packaged foods, plastic Tupperware, and again take out.
My second is this: Oh shit I didn't touch on the fearless part. Okay that should be its own very broad thing. Live Fearlessly. Two friends of mine were talking about another friend the other night at dinner. Nothing mean or cruel was said, but Friend 1 I'll call her said Friend 2 had a hard time going beyond her comfort zone. Friend 2 will make excuses to not drive late, to not eat somewhere, to not believe in such and such to not date ect. Friend 2 is an awesome smart gal but I recognize this within her and its always perplexed me. While Friend 1 said this to Friend 3, Friend 3 agreed with Friend 2s fear of going beyond her comfort zone. "I'm the same way. I won't do it." Truth be told Friend 3 doesn't do anything beyond her comfort zone. For as long as I can remember she rarely does. I feel that this has held her back from a lot in life, but lets not judge her, this is about me. I too have a similar fear. I didn't want to do ballet last year because I thought I was too fat. Still a lingering fear. I didn't want to date in 2013 mostly because I just got out of a long relationship but a part of me was very hesitant dating at this current size. I was scared of hurting someones feelings so I stayed with someone for nearly 4 years. I was scared of leaving my job without another to back it up (still am!) The point of all of this is yes...we all have fears. Fear is a perfectly normal thing to feel, but you can not let it hold you back. Who suffered from not doing ballet last year? Me. Who didn't even try to date and ran away screaming from it? me. If I were to get to my goal weight I'd have no excuses on holding back but I believe a fear would still be there. Perhaps one of the reasons I did not succeed in losing weight last year was because I was scared of what would happen after I did. I really wouldn't have any excuse. Decide you want it more than you are afraid of it.
Really all of these as well. Wise advice to anyone who is really stressing about new years.
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