Desert Paradise

                         
Last month for memorial weekend, I was fortunate enough to venture out of town to my close friends parents summer home in Crescent Bar. Its about two hours east of Seattle, passed Ellensburg. I was stoked to be invited. I had realized that I had not left town since my 30th birthday nearly two years ago (old as tits). I wondered why I had denied myself travel for so long. But then I realized I was with someone who never wanted to travel anywhere with me. Who's time was purely invested in himself. And then I was without a job and my savings depleted quicker than expected. I recognize the privilege behind my argument as not many people get to take a vacation ever. But I am a single woman who would consider it a bigger tragedy if I never saw Europe over never having children. The fact that I denied myself any traveling near or far upsets me.

We arrived in Crescent Bar in the late afternoon. We hung out with her family and later got stoned and went to the pool. The pool water was freezing but I was so high I was simply just fascinated being in water. Some young kids hopped the fence and made their way to the hot tub. When I say kids, I mean early 20's Central or WSU kids. They were the bro type, the kind that drank 40's, listened to angry white boy music and never had a girl at their side who didn't weigh more than a buck ten. One of the guys got in the pool with us, even after I insulted his stereo in front of his friends. He talked to my friend and I for a little bit. When him and his friends left he asked if we were going to a bar in town tomorrow, and complimented us both. I can't ever tell when someone is flirting with me. I'm 31 and completely clueless. When I was much younger, a child even men were very abrasive in their attempts at flattery. I always grew uncomfortable with it and ran. So for me its hard to gauge subtle hints of flirtation. But my friend was insistent he was flirting so with that said....at least this 31 year old can attract men ten years younger. This Modcloth suit makes me look like Mike Wizoski from Monster INC but still attracts the fellows.

The next day we went back to the pool in he AM. My friends mom made me a mimosa at 9 am. I'm not a big drinker but who am I to turn down a free drink? I drank and I'm sure my liver was screaming on the inside. I later went on a jetski for the first time that afternoon. I was nervous as fuck. My friends mom said, "let's go on the waverunner!" I didn't think to ask what it was but when I got down to the river I was like fuccckkkkk. I told myself, shut the hell up and get on it. It was a lot of fun. I felt like a non creepy disgusting Lewis and Clark as I sped down a foreign but familiar river. I had passed by this place unbeknownst to me for years. I went to school in Eastern Washington and never stopped to enjoy the Columbia River. All the neighboring towns were ghost towns or met my own big city qualifications of a ghost town. I admired the way the climate changed from woodsy terrain to desert in only a few short miles. It was a beauty I appreciated but understand more to it. It was like looking at someone's beauty but seeing a whole other side to it.

The weekend was great. I would love to visit again, though next time I plan on bringing cuter clothes. At this point in my life I am not against hooking up with a college student. Dating long term yes, but kissing the young lips of a babe....well okay. I have a terrible thing to admit. In spite of the great time I was having and how I craved more adventure I found myself thinking of my fuckboy. I know I vowed I'd never speak of him again or look at him again (another confession I looked at his minions page while stoned, fucckkk) and truthfully I don't like bringing him up. Which is why I became upset that in spite of my best efforts to have fun and put what happened aside I wondered what he'd think of me doing these things.  I wondered if he thought of me at all. I wondered about her and if she would do or say the things I've done. Comparisons get one no where. Her and I are like boxed wine to something you can only buy from a vineyard. As is my fuckboy. Someone who I thought had value but turned out to be worthless. Why do we measure our worth by those who fail us? That is a question I'm still trying to figure out myself. I will say I recognized when I did start to dwell on him and distracted myself with something else. Which is what I'll do now. 

The following weekend we went to float on the Snoqualmie River. I know myself too well to know I can't bring my phone near any body of water. So I apologize for the lack of photos. The day was hotter than Hades. It was zen as fuck on the river.  Later we went to Herfys for some much needed protein in the form of burgers and watched a lot of Hannibal.

More adventures to come. In the fall I plan to hit the Oregon Coast again and Crater Lake for the first time ever! I also am getting my passport very soon so I can really become what I always wanted. An international woman of mystery. The path way to glowing up is imminent.