Once a cheater

always a cheater.

Not sure what my beef is. I want to be thin. I want to be healthy and fit. There are many many reasons for me to be driven to become this  but every diet trend I follow just fails. YES I know diets set you up for failure but here it is guys....every single diet sorry lifestyle choice tells you THIS IS NOT A FAD DIET. That is the great lie they all tell you.

I was hungry for three days on Glycemic load. With much respect to the diet I do think I took the low carb aspect of it too far.  I feel gross eating veggies and meat on an empty stomach, probably means I am sicker than I first thought. Also, the thought of eating all that heavy cream and milk makes my stomach want to pack its bags and leave.

I will also admit that I have bad anxiety. When I get hungry I panic. I live in America, food is everywhere. I will not starve! But when ever I do lifestyle change my body starts to immediately panic about what my next meal will be.  I'll also start to freak more if I'm hungry after eating. I really don't know where this comes from but imagining trying to get into shape and having this thought behind every bite. It got to the point where I've been losing sleep.

Its not just the food issue. I feel that since my break up I should have already had a 180 with my life. It seems like everyone else is moving forward and I'm coasting. If I ran into my ex now my reaction would be to scream obscenities. Not just because he royally pissed me off but because I'm pissed at myself for going no where. Now if I was thin and ran into him.... yeah he would be sorry.

So whats a girl to do when she is stuck in a sea of self doubt?

Diets are balls. Listen to your body. If you are hungry eat. If you are not don't. You need to work out to improve your body and have a better sex life with your fantasy boyfriend...the governor..

Also ask yourself, WWTGD? What would the Governor do? Destroy what he thinks might be trying to destroy him.