Desert Paradise

                         
Last month for memorial weekend, I was fortunate enough to venture out of town to my close friends parents summer home in Crescent Bar. Its about two hours east of Seattle, passed Ellensburg. I was stoked to be invited. I had realized that I had not left town since my 30th birthday nearly two years ago (old as tits). I wondered why I had denied myself travel for so long. But then I realized I was with someone who never wanted to travel anywhere with me. Who's time was purely invested in himself. And then I was without a job and my savings depleted quicker than expected. I recognize the privilege behind my argument as not many people get to take a vacation ever. But I am a single woman who would consider it a bigger tragedy if I never saw Europe over never having children. The fact that I denied myself any traveling near or far upsets me.

We arrived in Crescent Bar in the late afternoon. We hung out with her family and later got stoned and went to the pool. The pool water was freezing but I was so high I was simply just fascinated being in water. Some young kids hopped the fence and made their way to the hot tub. When I say kids, I mean early 20's Central or WSU kids. They were the bro type, the kind that drank 40's, listened to angry white boy music and never had a girl at their side who didn't weigh more than a buck ten. One of the guys got in the pool with us, even after I insulted his stereo in front of his friends. He talked to my friend and I for a little bit. When him and his friends left he asked if we were going to a bar in town tomorrow, and complimented us both. I can't ever tell when someone is flirting with me. I'm 31 and completely clueless. When I was much younger, a child even men were very abrasive in their attempts at flattery. I always grew uncomfortable with it and ran. So for me its hard to gauge subtle hints of flirtation. But my friend was insistent he was flirting so with that said....at least this 31 year old can attract men ten years younger. This Modcloth suit makes me look like Mike Wizoski from Monster INC but still attracts the fellows.

The next day we went back to the pool in he AM. My friends mom made me a mimosa at 9 am. I'm not a big drinker but who am I to turn down a free drink? I drank and I'm sure my liver was screaming on the inside. I later went on a jetski for the first time that afternoon. I was nervous as fuck. My friends mom said, "let's go on the waverunner!" I didn't think to ask what it was but when I got down to the river I was like fuccckkkkk. I told myself, shut the hell up and get on it. It was a lot of fun. I felt like a non creepy disgusting Lewis and Clark as I sped down a foreign but familiar river. I had passed by this place unbeknownst to me for years. I went to school in Eastern Washington and never stopped to enjoy the Columbia River. All the neighboring towns were ghost towns or met my own big city qualifications of a ghost town. I admired the way the climate changed from woodsy terrain to desert in only a few short miles. It was a beauty I appreciated but understand more to it. It was like looking at someone's beauty but seeing a whole other side to it.

The weekend was great. I would love to visit again, though next time I plan on bringing cuter clothes. At this point in my life I am not against hooking up with a college student. Dating long term yes, but kissing the young lips of a babe....well okay. I have a terrible thing to admit. In spite of the great time I was having and how I craved more adventure I found myself thinking of my fuckboy. I know I vowed I'd never speak of him again or look at him again (another confession I looked at his minions page while stoned, fucckkk) and truthfully I don't like bringing him up. Which is why I became upset that in spite of my best efforts to have fun and put what happened aside I wondered what he'd think of me doing these things.  I wondered if he thought of me at all. I wondered about her and if she would do or say the things I've done. Comparisons get one no where. Her and I are like boxed wine to something you can only buy from a vineyard. As is my fuckboy. Someone who I thought had value but turned out to be worthless. Why do we measure our worth by those who fail us? That is a question I'm still trying to figure out myself. I will say I recognized when I did start to dwell on him and distracted myself with something else. Which is what I'll do now. 

The following weekend we went to float on the Snoqualmie River. I know myself too well to know I can't bring my phone near any body of water. So I apologize for the lack of photos. The day was hotter than Hades. It was zen as fuck on the river.  Later we went to Herfys for some much needed protein in the form of burgers and watched a lot of Hannibal.

More adventures to come. In the fall I plan to hit the Oregon Coast again and Crater Lake for the first time ever! I also am getting my passport very soon so I can really become what I always wanted. An international woman of mystery. The path way to glowing up is imminent. 

"Unbowed, unbent, unbroken'

I am feeling Game of Thrones hard this season. Its all about high Romance and rebirth. I can respect that and aspire to it. I won't reveal spoilers but if you haven't caught up on this season please do so now. 

Funny thing, the night of the Game of Thrones premier a former flame messaged me after months without a word. I was especially stunned after seeing this. I had just finished Beyonce's Lemonade and.....if you have seen it you'll understand why seeing my ex boyfriends name on my phone immediately after watching was a huge deal. If you didn't catch it, here is a brief excerpt from it which fits into the whole theme of the video. 

I didn't know what to do. I looked at it again, read the message half a dozen times in seconds. My heart raced and my stomach felt sick. My eyes filled at the base with a canoe of tears I did the only thing that I could. I walked out of my home. Down the street and into the night. I breathed and huffed down dimly lit homes. I prayed no one would see me, walking like a mad woman unable to breath, scream or cry. I had a panic attack at the mere sight of his name. 

We need to as a culture stop romanticizing when an ex comes back into your life. I find the reasons for them doing so are hardly romantic. Its unexpected and sort of feels like this...

I'll be brief. The story is long and I am tired of telling it. We talked for a while. Almost a month. He wanted to know how I was doing. Told me he wasn't sure if leaving was the right thing to do as his life wasn't easy. I screamed and called him terrible true things. He apologized profusely. He told me he should have told me he loved me before he left. Made me confess that I had loved him. I wanted to believe he was penitent and reformed in a way. That time away made him stronger and reflect. I wanted to push him away. I couldn't let him hurt me again but talking with him...felt like no time had passed. We were not together though he told me he knew how he felt and couldn't help exploring that. What that means.. it makes no difference now. I soon found out after he told me he had no intentions of seeing anyone that he was in fact with someone else. When I confronted him he had said he'd done nothing wrong and wasn't hiding anything. That I was the one who claimed we could be friends "if I could even handle that." I told him in so few words that I never asked him to come back into my life again. That he came for selfish reasons and to stay away. 

I didn't expect to hear from him. I didn't want to hear from him. There was nothing left to say. He talked to me almost every day and then he was with someone else. And in that time he was affectionate, seemingly supportive and heard the distress in my voice after a certain phone call. Yet still he lied. When he left the first time he was gone for a couple of months. Then emailed asking why certain people dropped him from his life. Accused me of being the reason why they unfriended him (seriously). I told him I wasn't. He apologized and then I didn't hear from him again. When we were together I made many excuses for him. I defended him from others when they said he wasn't good. I lied to myself. I spoke softly and put his needs before my own. The whole time I convinced myself that nothing I did was good enough. That my love wasn't good enough. I was so full of shit. He sought me out for validation. Wanted me to confess that I had loved him once and then he went away. And I lost any hope I had of him being a good person all over again. 

So why do I write this? Why do I give this any more thought and time than necessary? Because I doubted myself and I ignored myself again. Even when I saw him with the new girl (she's a girl not a woman) I still thought....maybe I read into all the things he said wrong. Maybe...just maybe it was

I who misunderstood it all. But then I thought of all the times he wasn't there. Of the nights I spent alone. Of the texts or emails he wouldn't return. Of what happened to me when he left and what he did. Oh all the times he wasn't present. And I looked at some of the texts. I don't think I was wrong.  There were even doubts that this new girl was even better than me. I know that she couldn't possibly. And seriously I know this is slightly juvenile of me but his new girl..... not attractive in the least. The most basic form of basic and homely there is. How lonely he must be. And I scrape that doubt off like shit on my shoe. I did nothing wrong. Everything I am and love he wanted to devour because he was empty. And in spite of myself and how strong I tried to be he hurt me all over again. I stayed away. I didn't want to see or know his life, but he forced me to know it all. And worst of all I found out about it on the anniversary of the death of Anne Boleyn. Cast aside for basic ass Jane Seymour.

 When an ex comes back it is equivalent to picking a wound and watching it bleed again. I believe love is selfless. I don't believe that all great love stories end with the lovers together. If you know you're wrong for someone but you love them, then love is letting go. Its putting someone else's needs before your own. Men like my ex never let go. They drain and drain and only give so little expecting everything in return. They devour you and leave you dismantled. I never forgave him for leaving the way he did or the dozen other times he failed me. But I never thought....he'd be so cruel. I didn't want to see his world. I didn't want to know his life. He took my eyes and pried them open and made me know. He stirred the pot and made me feel this hurt again...he's just a monster. Everyone say's he will be back. Men like him always come back and I need to be ready for when he does.

A part of me didn't want to write him back. I was going to ignore it. I didn't want him back in my life and was angry he'd try to get in again. I guess apart of why I did and still continued is because I had this idea of myself. That I could be the kind of woman who could casually talk to an ex without commitment. That I'd be too cool, or too intelligent to fall for his tricks again. Fully aware that I would be the best thing in his life and that he could no longer hurt me. But.... there was that elephant in the room. No matter how good I felt about myself, no matter what I had in my own life... I'd still never be able to look at him the same. He hurt me once, devastated me. Denied me love. A truly unforgivable act that he brought upon himself. 

I never want to speak of him again. This is my vow. To my friends who are reading this, know this. All conversations about this person will cease to exist. I don't want to know what hes doing or who he is with. He no longer means anything to me. He wasn't a mistake but a lesson. To never doubt myself and to never settle for less than I deserve. 

I'll do better. I am better. One day he will just be a distant memory and no more than a name. But for now I need to stay away. I need to listen to myself and follow my own dreams. I vow to let go of any toxicity in my own life. I will become the woman that I told myself I would never be and I'll one day if I am lucky enough find someone worthy enough of that woman. I invite you all on my journey of becoming who I am meant to be. The stepping stones to the ultimate glow up.

Kale Chickpea Abomination that doesn't fill you up

I have met people who say they get full from eating a salad. When my stomach is moaning like a mummy in heat I tend to ask people what they had for lunch or are going to have. When someone says, "Oh I brought a spinach salad." I kind of look at them for a little bit as if they are going to tell me more. In my mind I am thinking, "Spinach salad with....a half a sandwich, cup of soup....a meatball sub?" I think some people pick up on this. They can read the longing in my eyes. They usually continue with, "It has carrots, onion, cucumber...um....beets...sprouts oh and my homemade salad dre-" STOP okay I get it. Its a salad. And it is suppose to not only do wonders for your colon and waistline but its suppose to be a satisfying meal.

This kale and Chickpea salad wasn't bad. But it wasn't great. It left me wanting that meatball sub I hope everyone is secretly eating for lunch. But I hate being wasteful and I need more vegetables in my life like Donald Trump needs lessons in how to not be a cunt and attract other cunts.

I provide this salad recipe for you all who can't get enough of kale and chickpeas. If I could give you all mine I would. I am still on the quest for the ultimate filling salad. I will let you know when I have found it.

GARLICKY KALE SALAD WITH CRISPY CHICKPEAS

 

From the blog : http://minimalistbaker.com/about/

30 mins

 

SUPER flavorful, 30-minute Kale Salad with a creamy roasted garlic tahini dressing and crispy tandoori roasted chickpeas!

Author: Minimalist Baker

Recipe type: Entree

Cuisine: Vegan, Gluten Free

Serves: 2-3

Ingredients

• 10 ounces (~6 cups) kale, loosely chopped or torn

CHICKPEAS

• 1 15-ounce can chickpeas, rinsed, drained and thoroughly dried
• 1.5 Tbsp olive, avocado or grape seed, oil
• 2.5 - 3 Tbsp tandoori masala spice blend* (see notes for DIY blend)

DRESSING

• 1 head garlic
• 1/4 cup tahini
• 2 Tbsp olive oil + more for roasting garlic
• 2 lemons, juiced (~1/3 cup)
• 1-2 Tbsp maple syrup (or honey if not vegan)
• Pinch each salt + pepper
• Hot water to thin

Instructions

1. Peel apart garlic cloves but leave the skin on. Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
2. Add drained chickpeas to a mixing bowl and toss with oil and seasonings.
3. Add garlic cloves and seasoned chickpeas to a baking sheet. Drizzle garlic with a bit of olive or grape seed oil. Bake for 20-23 minutes, or until the chickpeas are slightly crispy and golden brown and the garlic is fragrant and slightly browned. Remove from oven and set aside.
4. Squeeze garlic out of skins / peel away skins and add to a mixing bowl. Add all remaining dressing ingredients and whisk vigorously to combine, smashing the garlic with the whisk. Taste and adjust seasonings as desired, adding more lemon for brightness and maple syrup for sweetness. Set aside.
5. Add kale to a large mixing bowl. Before adding dressing, add 1 Tbsp each lemon juice and olive oil to the kale and massage with hands to soften the texture and lessen bitterness. Then add as much dressing as desired (some may be leftover) and mix with a spoon.
6. Top with chickpeas and serve. Best when fresh, though leftovers keep in the fridge for up to a few days.

Notes

* I bought my Tandoori Masala Spice blend at Whole Foods (it's the Whole Foods Market brand), but you can easily make your own (see next note). 
*DIY Tandoori Masala Blend: 3 Tbsp cumin, 2 Tbsp garlic powder, 2 Tbsp paprika, 3 tsp ginger, 2 tsp coriander, 2 tsp cardamom. Multiply as needed.

Nutrition Information

Serving size: 1/3 of recipe Calories: 494 Fat: 29g Saturated fat: 4g Carbohydrates: 46g Sugar: 5.8gSodium: 80mg Fiber: 13g Protein: 17g

Sweet and Spicy Tofu

Let me start this post by saying I hate tofu. Truly do not like it. I've tried cooking it countless ways and paired with many of my favorite dishes. I consider myself a better baker than I do a cook. So perhaps that has something to do with it. 

I will say I have had it prepared by someone else and I enjoyed it. Therefore I am willing to say that my skill level is not on par with being a tofu expert. With that being said I would like to learn.

Tofu is cheap. Dirt cheap. Even the organic bulk at Marlene's. I know my native body would prefer wild caught salmon, scallops or perhaps a roasted chicken shot in the early morning on a farm near Enumclaw. But alas I can not afford any of those options. Because this girl thought she was going to not only be employed but employed with a legit job that allowed me to afford the kind of lifestyle I need to avoid early onset diabetes. But alas life has a different plan for me and for that I must learn how to endure tofu and chickpeas.

Sweet and Spicy Tofu was good. It was pretty damn good. It is a simple enough recipe though the clean up is a bit messy. The sauce is very thick and if you don't wash the pan after cooking it tends to harden. I would suggest adding a vegetable to the mix. Its more filling and who doesn't love veggies soaked in bad for you sauce. You know I do. ;)

 From the website: http://itdoesnttastelikechicken.com/

SWEET & SPICY SRIRACHA TOFU

Author: It Doesn't Taste Like Chicken

Prep time:  15 mins

Cook time:  20 mins

Total time:  35 mins

Serves: 4

 

INGREDIENTS

For the Tofu:

• 1 Block Extra Firm Tofu
• ⅓ Cup Cornstarch
• 2 Tablespoons Oil for Frying (more if needed)
• Cooked rice for serving.

For the Sriracha Sauce:

• 1 Cup Water
• ¼ Cup Soy Sauce
• ¼ Cup White Sugar
• 1 - 3 Tablespoons Sriracha (depending on your spice preference)
• 3 Cloves Finely Minced Garlic
• 2 Tablespoons Agave (or to taste)
• 2 Tablespoons Cornstarch + 2 Tablespoons Water

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Drain, rinse, and press the block of tofu for 15 minutes.
2. Slice the tofu into 1 inch cubes.
3. Put the cornstarch in a bowl and toss the tofu with the cornstarch in batches making sure each side is coated. Shake off excess and set aside.
4. Heat oil in a pan and fry the tofu cubes until all sides are browned. About 4 minutes each side.
5. Drain tofu on paper towel to get rid of excess oil.
6. In the meantime, mince the garlic, then add it to a sauce pan along with the water, soy sauce, sugar, Sriracha, and agave. Bring to a boil.
7. In a small bowl or glass, mix the cornstarch and water together. Whisk the cornstarch mixture into the sauce and stir until thickened.
8. Toss the sauce with the tofu and serve over a bed of rice.

Chicken Nuggets for the Soul

I know what some of you might be thinking. Why did I after a year vacation from writing in my health blog, decide to open a brand new entry with a photo of  Mcdonalds? Take it in babes. The toxicity of trans fats in the air, the stained grease wrapper of the cheeseburger and the unquenchable thirst from the pound of salt they put on the fries. Are you in a Pavlov state right now? Are you trying to remember if you still have ketchup in your fridge? You're welcome. 

It has been an interesting and unpredictable year. I gained a title and willingly lost the title. I didn't lose weight but I didn't gain. I found someone and then I lost them forever, but I'm starting to realize maybe I never had them. In an attempt to move forward and change my life, I feel like I have just lost everything. I was stoned for a good month and I never touched a vegetable. I had all the time in the world and I was losing my mind. I'd look in the mirror and nothing felt like me. My skin got worse, my hair was unkempt and never washed and I rarely changed. I never cried so much in my life, but I was never in love. But if this was not love, then why did I hurt so much? 

I think we get wrapped up in the idea of someone. How a person presents themselves and who they truly are are two different things. The things he would say. The promises he would make me. I wanted to live inside the world of those promises. But I don't want promises, I want actions.  I became enamored with the mask they wore but when the mask was removed I didn't know who they were anymore. Coming to terms with that has been a battle. I wanted so badly to date again and move forward that in my unwillingness of living in the real world I forgot how cruel it could be.  

Over the past few weeks I have realized that I am my own worst enemy. People say that shit all the time but in my case its very true. I've always wanted a life unexpected. Full of adventure, passion and creativity. But in wanting that I never moved forward because I didn't know where to go to get it. I was somewhere that promised I'd move forward and I did but only with a couple of title changes a wage not high enough to sustain me. I was with someone who I thought wanted that as well but would always keep me in their shadow. I don't want to be in anyone's shadow. I realize if I want that life, that beautiful life I need to make it for myself. I'd have to be my own hero. 

 I have had a few people question my Slytherin status ( #nerdalert) But what is a Slytherin if not determined and ambitious? Perhaps they are always classified as evil because their passions for something greater than themselves consumes them. With life there are risks and sometimes you fail. Over and over. The boy was not everything I hoped him to be and was always a risk. But perhaps I'd be willing to risk everything for what I want. 

I'm not here to make promises. I've been promised many things in my life and I don't want promises. I don't need them. I want action and change. I am not here to tell kale tastes better than buttery carbs. Nor will I say how waking up at the crack of dawn when I'd rather be dreaming of Mads Mikkleson makes me feel alive. But I am going to be honest on this journey. I will share milestones and recipes and what it means to be starting over yet again. 

Warrior Dash

 A few things I learned from doing the Warrior Dash.

1. After seeing these photos I am not having intimate relations till I have dropped 30 pounds.

2. I am stronger then I gave myself credit for. I struggled running. The sand dunes run nearly killed me as running in sand is not my friend. Endurance is KEY. I read on another review of a Warrior Dash that though strength is very important, your overall endurance is going to be what gets you through this event. So fellow Warrior Dash enthusiasts, I know I hate it too but cardio, cardio, cardio!

3. Now strength training. As I said before, this is important. I hate when people tell others seeking to lose weight to avoid weight training. Muscle burns fat, what builds muscle? Strength training. Don't go bat shit if you are worrying about bulking. Two times week is fine. I am a freak of nature and put on muscle like a mutated freak so I do have to be careful how much I do. But I'd say what you want to focus on for the Dash is lower body strength. I feel that lower body strength was more important than upper. There were a ton of climb/ running up things that you just have to have your lower half be on point. Make sure you do your squats and lunges. Incorporate stairs or stair climber machines into your routine. As far as upper body, practice planks which work the entire body. Triceps and biceps need to be dipped. 

4. You do not have to do all the obstacles. If you are like me and a big chicken when it comes to heights and don't feel much for conquering your fear, then skip it. Some people feel that this takes away from the experience and people should be penalized for skipping. These people are stupid and suck. Some people simply can't overcome an obstacle physically or mentally but they signed up for the damn event because they wanted to give themselves that chance! Its their money, not yours. I skipped out on two events due to my fear of heights but I have no doubt that I could have done them. I will gladly give them a go next year.

5. Back to the number 2 topic. When I was much fitter and very briefly had a personal trainer I asked him two days after a very difficult work out, "Why am I not sore? I was absolutely exhausted afterwards." and he told me, " Your body is stronger than you give it credit for."

6. If you're thinking about doing the Warrior Dash, do the Warrior Dash! Seriously. You'll be FINE! The volunteers for the event were very helpful and it was a great crowd of people. I did exercise of course before I did the event but I'll be honest not nearly as much as I should have. Get your body moving.

7. Some people really don't like that the event is not timed. I am not a runner and I am not a competitive person, despite my Slytherin houses reputation (how cool am I?).  I never thrived in competitive sport and still don't really care to watch them, so this does not bother me. My suggestion if you want to be timed, perhaps bring your own timer? I am sure they sell the water resistant ones you can attach to your clothes. Just make sure you don't lose it in the mud.

8. If you want to avoid crowds sign up early. Before noon is ideal. My friend Jen and I agreed on the 10:45 slot and I think that was perfect. Not a long line for the restrooms, no wait for the obstacles. It was good. When we finished around noon the place was PACKED. Bathroom line was out of control and I am sure there was a wait at each obstacle. Some reviewers said they waited 20 plus minutes to do a course. This sounds terrible. I am not a morning person, but avoid the crowds and you'll have fun.

9. If you feel tired or just need to rest a bit, do it. Its one thing to push yourself but you don't want to burn out early on. This isn't a race. There is no grand prize of a million dollars at the end. Have fun. Really.

10. This event really encouraged me to get in better shape. I know. I know. I say that a lot. But usually when I say it I say it after  watching a graphic sex scene on Game of Thrones and thinking, "well fuck I need to get in shape"  or after having a weird reaction to a barely tolerable food. My swollen lip syndrome that I seem to keep getting when I eat foods that could be mutated.

*Doctor update: This summer has been AWFUL for allergies. My doctor didn't think it was anything to be too fearful of but she thinks seasonal allergies are to blame, but it could still be an oral allergy reaction. But I can't get the blood allergy test for a while as its expensive and most insurances don't cover it. *

 But this event really forces you to reexamine what you have done or are currently doing to your body. It really does test you physically and mentally. Its made me want to sign up for a 5K in the near future and another warrior dash next year.  I am looking forward to both and am looking forward to changing my body to match my fitness enthusiasm.

My friend (pictured above) is doing Tough Mudder. A 10 to 12 mile long course of some crazy crazy looking obstacles. I spent a day looking at each obstacle like; nope, nope and nope! I wish her the best of luck doing it. Will I do that in the future? If I have better health insurance and am in impeccable shape then I would consider it. Like Warrior Dash, if an obstacle freaks you out or you'd just rather not take the risk, then skip it.

*Another medical update: shortly after this event I got an ear ache of epic proportions. It was the worst pain I'd ever felt. Imagine a 12 pound dumb bell attached to the side of your head that occasionally stabs you and you can't eat or sleep or turn your head without pain. Yeah... I had advanced swimmers ear and the two theories is I likely got too much contaminated muddy water in my ear during the run or and my long weight hair just infected my hair. Its been very warm and I have been sleeping with my hair wet, so I think this is the more likely culprit. Anyway. 7 to 10 days of antibiotics better and I think it is finally clearing up enough to where I can work out again. Come on universe, give my immune system a break!*

Please feel free to laugh. These photos are ridiculous! I love the one of me crawling through mud. I look like I am crying but I swear I wasn't! 

Deep Thoughts

SIKE! Is that still a thing? Sike? Whatever, if you were born in 2000 or later than you probably don't know. In which case, it means false or just kidding, j.k as you all know.

I'm at work and its kind of a slow well...there are people and parking was kind of balls but they aren't buying by the truck load. Which is okay because I've been on the internet all day and the few visitor questions keep me busy.

I've been having trouble sleeping. I think this is due to diet. I've been eating God awful and the reasons for doing so are many. 1. I am depressed 2. I am depressed I don't make sufficient money to get a head in the world 3. I am depressed that it does take money to not just be happy but to be secure. 4. I'm depressed because I am fat. 5. It makes me eat more. 6. The littlest things seem to set me off and keep me up at night. 7. Because of all the above my body is seriously causing a revolution from within......

 I am getting grotesquely sick from high fat foods. It started out as acid reflux and then it got worse. IBS (please I won't describe it.), trapped gas which feels like I am being disemboweled, tight pinching pain in my chest that I was convinced was a heart attack that felt like this....

and nausea so bad that I was dry heaving. It takes a lot for me to puke, like too much tequila or one too many long island ice teas (early 20's) and my body has never responded more negatively to food as it has now.

After this feeling, I believe that Columbus's Curse is real. Let me explain. Brown people are getting sicker. Hispanics and Native Americans are more likely to develop gallbladder issues and insulin resistance due to the American diet. No I am not attacking dairy or meat, but I am attacking all processed foods that maybe once upon a time started out as a food group but mutated into something else. Its killing us, especially the brown people. Columbus's Curse is real.

I'm making note of all the things my body doesn't like. So far anything high in fat has been the death of me. I also had a cookie just a little bit ago since I won't be getting a real break at work and I indeed feel sick. I think its the combo of butter/sugar.

Foods I'll be consuming more of that don't seem to bother me:

Fresh fruits and vegetables
Lean protein
Rice- not fried
Potatos- so long as they are not fried.
Spelt bread
Greek Yogurt
Green Smoothies
handfuls of nuts
PHO!
Asian food that is not spicy

My family has had gallbladder issues. Two aunts and a cousin had to have theirs removed and I do not want to ever go under the knife unless I absolutely have to. I know a woman who had her gallbladder removed who ate some toxic shit and she didn't change her diet. She still has issues with digestion and rather than solve that with diet she opted for surgery. I'm an advocate for healthy lifestyle and I would suggest for anyone with mild to moderate discomfort to try to adjust/change your routine first before considering surgery. Obviously, if you are in horrid pain please get the surgery. 

Working out and losing some fat will also help me of course. But I think cutting out the fatty foods will do wonders for my waistline and high hopes of a future sex life/career.. The past two or three weeks this has been the extent of my work outs.

Other deep thoughts aside from the above.....

-The first boyfriend of mine I took to a Homecoming dance ruined my Hollywood ideal of a High School dance as his boner poked me in the stomach for three dances. No I did not alleviate that boner and I bless the stars I didn't.

- On that note as much as I'd like to go on a date, I keep having flashbacks of really really stupid guys I've dated in the past and it makes me want to scream and run. I'm certainly not opposed but every time I'm like okay, lets open a match.com profile I'm like uh nope! I do realize I run the risk of this happening though when I do date someone I am really into....

- As a potential dater I'd also like to be financially well enough to buy any potential boyfriend a quality meal. Right now I can only afford to buy a date a Costco dog. And also, if the date goes south I'd pay for my own meal. I like to give the impression I can take care of myself and don't need your stinking salad.

 - My dog keeps pissing on my rain boots for work which could mean one or two things. 1. he is expressing his hatred for the place I work 2. Its July and I should stop wearing my rain boots.

- I have been doing another Amazon free trial deal and as much as I hate amazon and feel that they are the Wal-Mart of the book world I wish I could afford the 100 dollar fee. Instant Streaming old school Degrassi Junior High and Are You Afraid Of The Dark is so tempting.

- I need to read more.

- I took a hiatus from facebook and I still hate it but can't stop.

- 5 months from now I will be 30 and I am freaking the fuck out.

- On a good note, I never wanted children in my 20s. Even in my early teens I never thought I'd have them till I was much older (if I did indeed decide to have them). I've officially made it beyond the half way point of 29 and I can say I won't have a child in my 20s. Hells yeah.

- I can't stop eating cherries.

- I need to write more.

- I want new summer clothes but alas I am 1. Too poor for even the thrift store. 2. Too fat.

- I'm out of here soon. I am hungry and even though I planned to hit the health food store, I don't think I shall. I'll just eat my weight at their bakery, even if it is vegan. 


I'll be reposting this on my other blog too. Just can't get enough!