Moving on.. I don't think I have the flu. But last night I had a random pounding head ache, pain in my left arm and severe (over statement) pain in my lower back. I crawled into bed late and slept for ten and a half hours. Whatever it was i think sleep might have killed it but I still feel a little loopy.
Okay but really moving on. When you were growing up didn't you just hate the question; "Where do you see yourself in (insert time frame)? I never knew how to answer. In jr. high and high school I just wanted to work in the fashion industry. I even sent info out to top design schools and never heard back from any of them. How could they know I was a chubby short mexican from suburban washington? I was even going to go to the Art institute in seattle for fashion (my moms urging) but she told me i should do graphic design (her urging as well which btw I was not nerely as talented as everyone else and that was a huge flop). But still year after year I never knew how to answer that question. After graduating college I assumed I could answer the question as such; have a great job in the art world, travel, maybe be in a serious relationship and live on my own. I sorta got this. I work at a museum but its far from great, I have traveled kudos to me but not to any desired European locations, I was in a serious relationship but happy I'm not and still live at home (no full time work, student loans, credit card happy and a 4 year boyfriend that NEVER wanted to live with you = me at 28.)
I guess you all might be wondering why I am talking about this. Vitoria, this has nothing to do with weight loss or living a healthy lifestyle, wtf? It sorta does. Losing weight is a long journey that many people don't fully commit to; either because they are for lack of better word lazy, unmotivated or just find it difficult (all of the above). Some people, when finally losing the weight are not sure what to do once they've reached their goals. Can I eat cheeseburgers for breakfast? Will people automatically love me more because i'm thin? Will I start living my life for me now? Ect ect. I think SOME people are not prepaired for the after world of a new them and this can lead to weight gain (believe me i know).
Therefore, I think it is important for people in any walk of life and especially those who are on the road towards a healthier life to ask themselves, "Where do you see yourself in (time frame insert)?"
Lets do a Where do I see myself when I'm 35. I'd do 30 but that is only two years away(ah!) so let's do 35 so that gives me more time to accomplish,
Being physically satisfied with myself. Excepting the things I can not change and changing the thinks I can. Feeling good in my own skin. I may not be 105lbs but if I could fit into a size 4 or 6 jeans again. I'd be over the moon.
I see myself being financially independent.
I see myself in a job that I love or highly like. Hopefully something still in the art world, or perhaps branching out to writing or fashion. Two of the things Ich liebe.
I see myself as being semi world traveled. Explored the Swiss alps, conversed with strangers in French and German, sprawled on some hot beaches with crystal clear waves and naked forgeiners, explored the medieval castles of England and shared mead with the tomb of Henry VIII (extreme tool), and lounged in the thermal baths of Iceland.
I see myself sophisticated, chic, fabulous styles that I normally wouldn't wear for fear of being judged.
If it is written in the stars...perhaps engaged or married. I'll be honest and unfortunately I wasn't as honest about this in my recent relationship. Being a mother and being a wife is pretty low on my lists of accomplishments. That doesn't mean I never want to be married. I'd love to have some magical fairytale romance that apparently lasts through the ages, like a moronic Nicholas Sparks book but hopefully cooler and doesn't involve moving to either Carolinas. But right now that is not what I want or need. And children..don't get me started. I give praise to the gods I never had any unexpected surprises. Right now I need to be important, I need to be the person I want to meet and be around. Its a time where I can be selfish and I love that. The two provided photos are meant to signify me owning my own home (ignore the happy couple) and the dress...right now I care more about the wedding dress than any actual wedding good sign I'm not ready for marriage.
Not to say that if Tom Hiddleston wanted to take me home I wouldnt go. I said I was anti relationships but ask me again in a few months if I'm anti safe rendevous. Aww fuck it...yes yes a few glorious affairs are something I wont deny myself before settling down. SAFE always always safe and not with ranom strangers. I can name all the few men I have slept with so I am not a loose woman. Also, reason for getting into shape as I delicately put it in a blog entry prior, I don't want to have fat sex. Fat sex is ass.
Stop judging.
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