Gluten Free pizza crust

So I really really wanted pizza but gluten free pizza. I expected this <------

But got this.......down below. In spite of its weird appearance the pizza was actually pretty good. Sort of like a nutty pizza casserole. My sister and I call it Jesus Pizza Loaf as it looks like an archaic form of pizza. Lol. The recipe was from the wheat belly cookbook. I give it 3.75 stars as the crust did fall apart upon cutting.

Pizza Crust 2

1/4 cup of warm water
1 1/4 teaspoons of active dry yeast
1 cup of garbanzo chickpea flour
1 cup of almond meal or flour (meal has slivers of almond skin and flour if more ground.
1/2 cup of ground golden flaxseeds
1 teaspoon of sea salt
2 tablespoons of olive oil

In a small bowl or glass measuring cup, whisk the water and yeast until the yeast dissolves. Let stand for 10 minutes.

In a medium bowl, combine the garbanzo flour, almond flour, flaxseeds and mix well. Add the oil and stir. Add the yeast mixture and stir for five minutes or until the ingridents are combined to form a loose ball of dough. Cover the bowl with plastic and let sit for 1 hour.

preheat oven to 350.

Line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Place the dough on the parchment paper and lay a second sheet of parchment paper on top of the dough. Flatten with a rolling pin into a sricle that is roughly 10" in diameter/ Carefully remove the top layer of parchment papwer, Use a spoon or your hands to form a crust edge.

Bake for 20-25 minutes depending on desired crispness.

The entire crush is 377 calories, 15 g of protein, 24 g of carbs.

Voluntary/involuntary celibacy

http://jezebel.com/whats-the-big-fucking-deal-about-celibacy-1058334334

This article made me feel immensely better about my choice in not dating for the past year.  When I left my four year relationship...one year ago Monday it was not my intention to date immediately. I had committed to one person, grew with that person, loved that person, provided for this person and supported them emotionally as much as a lover could. I was SPENT. At the time I couldn't imagine starting all over again with someone new so quickly. I needed to be by myself. More importantly I wanted to be by myself again. As angry as I was at how it ended I was ultimately relieved when it had.

Months passed and many things that were outside of my control prevented me from completely moving forward. The reality of my dwindling bank account and student loans zapped me back from my spontaneity. Sad, but I was able to accomplish some tasks I set out for myself. I still have found that I have had growth.
I do want a relationship again. I do miss intimacy. I am a human being, we all crave that desire to connect. But I still do not know if I desire a boyfriend or if I am just bored with my life. Probably the later. With that being said I am not opposed to dating. I've said before and I'll say again I am not looking but if I just happened to meet someone I connect with then fantastic. Mads Mikkleson leave your gorgeous wife and be my future boyfriend lol.

My bff is a gorgeous, fun, outgoing and driven person. She also had a wild couple of summers in her early 20s. ( My early 20s were kind of a wild time!) Recently she was celibate for quite a long while. We are both still relatively young and I did not want her to deny relationships. She is smart so I knew she would be safe but I thought she might purposefully be avoiding men all together. So I convened as any good friend would do. She met someone and it is still a little in limbo. He isn't her split apart but he is someone of interest. I'm glad she had the courage to put herself out there again. Dating can be a scary thing. And giving yourself to someone, bodily...is a big move.

I didn't have sex at a very young age. But I experimented. When I was 15 I almost lost my virginity to someone completely undeserving. Thank god I had the good sense to say no and that he was at least decent enough to listen. I didn't find myself in a near sexual situation till I was 18 and had graduated high school. The guy I know now was undeserving but at the time I did not regret it. I had been a virgin for a while and just wanted it over with. With that said do I regret it? A little but mostly no. If I had waited I wouldn't have dated the next two people I did and that would have drastically changed my future self. For the better or worse? I'll never know but I can't change it and I accept that. I am proud that I waited and didn't lose it when I was 15 as I know so many girls did...and younger.

With that being said....ten years later after losing my virginity...one year later after making the decision to leave a four year relationship... that I do not regret most of my sexual history. We all have regrets, I am not indifferent. But I accept them all as life lessons. I do want that part of my life back but I know that sex is a very important decision. I will not patrol the bars and go home with anyone that will have me just for the sake of feeling the intimacy of another person. I will not as my best friend put it about my ex , " uh dude...he hasn't moved on. He downgraded and started walking on a lower road just to keep moving. He is slumming it." No downgrading for me. I don't think I have it in me to wait for "mr. right" either. Unless Mads leaves his wife that will not happen. But the next ten years of my sex life will hopefully be filled with worthy people and that time will come when I want it to come.

Wise words from a woman who went 12 years sans sex and kind of took the words right out of my mouth one year ago:

 "Throughout my sexual life, I have had periods with lapses in sexual activity and long periods with nothing. For me, it’s absolutely not a problem. And believe me, I’m not a prude — I’m not a prude at all. I began my sexual life very early. I had some boyfriends, but a lot of the time I was in bed, I was not present. I know a lot of girls like me — I was doing the things because everyone else was. And when I was 27, I had a boyfriend of five years, and he thought that we were very happy. But I was not so happy. I realized that I was happier alone than when I was with my boyfriend.

I wanted to recover my body. My real desire was to re-want having sex. When I stopped, I was so excited to be alone in my bed. I immediately bought a bigger bed, and for me, it was freedom."

 Novelist and editor Sophie Fontanel

Brown Rice Noodles

Don't believe the starving angry ridiculousness that is the paleo enthusiasts that zucchini noodles are just as good if not better (god damn you for such blasphemy!) than regular noodles. I have prepared zucchini noodles many many ways and I can tell you that they are indeed a poor substitute for regular spaghetti noodles. Don't even get me started on spaghetti squash! Mother fucker hated to bake even when I tried cooking it many ways and it created a huge mess. Never again.

I was particularly hangry when I made the brown rice noodles. I had an abysmal lunch and an abysmal breakfast. Spaghetti is my favorite of all time foods. It is also the most harmful to my insulin resistant self. Such a love hate thing. Like Chris Brown and Rhianna. Except I am Rhiannas head and spaghetti is the car door in which Chris Brown slammed her head in.

Brown rice can still raise your insulin. Fuck you. Though if you are blessed with a body that doesn't work against you but are trying to stay away from the grain this is a lovely alternative to spaghetti. It tastes great, but does require longer prep time than regular noodles.

The Wheat Belly Cookbook that I read he doesn't want you to eat any starch really, as it is likely that since you are allergic to gluten you may be intolerant of other grains (as most humans are) basically humans should only eat meat, veggies, fruits and nuts (again fuck you paleo) but I do think it is arguable that you can have some dairy and the least processed grains in your diet. As is evident with primal diet followers (like paleo but much more relaxed) and people whom are in great shape but do not follow a specific diet where as just stay away from processed foods. I highly recommend this book.

The author of Wheat Belly did say that some grains in light moderation (NO WHEAT!) are okay, (ie brown rice, quinoa and a couple more) but to not get caught up in buying anything simply because it is labeled gluten free. Potato chips are gluten free but you are not going to look like Jessica Biel if you eat the whole bag! Sad fact or else my date tonight would be a bag of BLT Lays. He also encourages while light moderation is okay to not let it overcome each meal. The focus is staying away from most starch and focusing on lean meats, veggies, fruits and other alternatives. Sorry dude but riced cauliflower will never be as good as rice.

You can buy Brown Rice noodles most anywhere now. I saw them at Fred Meyers but I bought mine at Marlenes (locations in Federal way and Tacoma).

Dating Standstill (is standstill one word or two?)

Auto correct didn't fix it so I apologize for my lack of that knowledge.

I weighed myself the other day. I was going to the doctors that afternoon and didn't want any unpleasant surprises. The good news... I haven't gained any weight. The bad news... I haven't lost any weight either. What the fuck is wrong with me?

I was discussing this with my sister earlier as she stated, "I don't get it. This was my year to totally kick ass and take charge. Wtf?"

In her defense the job market is rough. And there is just the harsh reality that you need money to make dreams happen. Sorry hippies but money does make the world go round. And this year has dealt us some heavy blows. RIP Kobe le beouf!

In my line of business I make very little money. I've had paychecks where I've had like 20 or 30 dollars to myself. The rest went to rent, bills and a huge chunk went to going to and from work ie gas. Unsexy purchases indeed. When I did have to buy healthy groceries I resented it. I closeted ate junk food because I hated the stress that comes with poverty. And I think I also suffer from depression/ anxiety with food.

 With that being said, my hopes of being a more outgoing adventure seeking individual has been stifled. The desire and ambition is there but my bank account zaps me back to reality. And these are simple things. As much as I'd love to travel to Iceland asap that wasn't priority numero uno. But small things like Barre classes, cooking, close travel ie Hawaii (okay a stretch), Crater Lake ect... Just things I would have loved but couldn't budget. Oh well.... in time :(

The year is not over yet. I know this. I've been reminded daily. I am currently fishing for new employment so hopefully something bites soon...come on big tuna!

I can't tell if I am ready to date or not (what is ready?) scratch that. I think I do want to. I don't know if I want a boyfriend or if I am just bored. I think I'm just bored, lol. But I wouldn't mind meeting new people. God its been um....five  years since I've dated or kissed or...you know... with anyone other than my last boyfriend. Can't blame a girl for being curious.

BUT yet again my weight is truly holding me back. Yes I know I can date at this weight but...please don't think I'm a snob but I feel like the standard of men I'd date right now would not be to my liking. If I learned anything from my last break up I know what I want but more importantly I know exactly what I DON'T want. I expressed to my bff that I just needed to lose 22lbs before I date again. 22 pounds is not my ultimate fitness goal (lord help me its 45!)  BUT 22 pounds ago I could work the hot angle. With dark clothes, proper mood lighting, beautifully styled hair and some fancy perfume...yeah I can seduce someone...Did I say seduce? Yeah I'd be a huge liar if I said sex was not on my mind. Its a huge motivator. I'd like to not completely crush the guy pre or during sex. I've had past complaints...I know what a cunt?

22lbs ago....I could get it.
So there you have it little blog. A little update for me. Future purchase: Running shoes, work out clothes (target has the cutest yoga tops and I need running capris with no holes in the crotch) and healthy LOW CARB groceries. Chicken, turkey, eggs, taco salad and cheese I am looking at you. Oh and fuck you Kale I'm looking at you too.

I truly need to stick to this. Its dyer. My future depends on it. I have to before my body becomes a museum. My dreams of Mads Mikklesen, Max Irons and The Governor are out of control! And my body is nearing 30 (28 now 29 next bday!!!!) that is when a womens libido is through the roof! Lord help me!

Oh Dream Weaver....

 I need to vow my allegiance to the gym. They were kind enough to put kickboxing on their schedule. May peep that scene on Thursday. I am telling myself if I make my first goal of minus 22 lbs by Halloween I can buy myself new jeans. I really need skinny jeans. New skinny jeans and new love interest? Year.....give these things to me and a new well paying job and I will be eternally grateful!

Zucchini Brownies- nom nom nom!!!!!

Made with love from our giant garden zucchinis! Delicious!


Chocolate Zucchini Bread – adapted slightly from Joy of Baking - download, print and bake
(Makes one – 9 x 5 x 3 inch loaf.)

• 1 1/2  cups shredded raw zucchini 
• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• 1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/4 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/4 teaspoon ground allspice
• 1/2 cup  canola oil
• 1/2 cup granulated white sugar
• 1/2 cup light brown sugar
• 2 large eggs
• 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
• 3/4 cup semi sweet chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350°F with a rack in the center of the oven. Grease (spray some Pam on there) a 9x5x3 inch loaf pan.
Grate the zucchini, using a medium sized grater, and set aside. You do not need to squeeze the zucchini dry. In a large bowl whisk together the flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, baking powder, salt, cinnamon, and allspice. Set aside.
In the bowl of your electric mixer (or with a hand mixer), beat the oil, sugars, eggs, and vanilla extract until well blended (about 2 minutes). Fold in the grated zucchini. Add the flour mixture, beating just until combined. Then fold in the chocolate chips. Scrape the batter into the prepared pan and bake a toothpick/cake tester inserted in the center comes out clean (about 55 to 65 minutes). Place on a wire rack to cool for about 10 minutes, then remove the bread from the pan and cool completely.

9 Signs it’s Time for a Change

http://www.marcandangel.com/2012/10/15/9-signs-its-time-for-a-change/

Cool and intriguing article.

Seattle and Steak

 

My delicious lunch from Metropolitan Grill in Seattle. The steak was fantastic. I had been craving steak for some time, especially after seeing contestants on Bear Grylls new show eating steak with their hands. But I didn't want backyard applebees steak. Give me the real deal. This is the kind of place where Don Draper (aka hot fuck) would take a date and the waiters were really nice. One hot as f.

 

If you are feeling like Daddy Warbucks and happen to be in the downtown Seattle area I recommend this place. Mi Madre ordered crab cakes and they were hands down the best crab cakes I have ever had. My parents bought me two fifty dollar gift certificates to this place and another one (Elliot Bay Chowder, name could be wrong?) about jeez nearly two years ago. I think they intended for my ex and I to enjoy it but he never wanted to go to Seattle. Or he never wanted to go with me....not sure which one but that bitch did not deserve this good of steak anyways. So I gave one to my mom months ago for her bday and used the other today. A well deserved lunch.

 

Seattle was fun, though I hate my breasts and man shoulders. They make it incredibly difficult to find clothes. I will say both of them being a burden to me is probably a blessing in disguise. If I was able to fit into more things I'd probably be more in debt then I am now. I really would sacrifice groceries and gas for anthropologie clothes. Leaving there without something was hard, but I did it! Pats on shoulder for moi.

 

I did get two tops from Urban that I haven't been to in forever, a knuckle ring so I can be like young hipsters and some dry shampoo. My reasoning for the tops? I am donating a lot of  things to goodwill, shipping out cute never worn items to my beloved best friend Kat and selling on ebay like ten more things. I won't be buying anything else until end of September as I really need new jeans (but I need to commit to 5-6 days a week gym time for one month before I am allowed) new work pants and running shoes. Okay... I may let myself get a modcloth dress for a friends wedding. Its celebration for them and celebration for me so I can feel and look fabulous (the date is also dangerously encroaching on my year of singledom anniversary...happy to be single but still an unsavory memory)

 

Por Que God does not give me 70 dollars for this top??!?!?!??!?! From Anthro...If it drops to 35 sorry guys I may have to do it!