Intolerance

For the hopeful resolutioners...

Another year...

Hello all.

Yesterday was my birthday. 29. 29. Can you believe it? The way I rant...I can't!

I woke up at around 10ish excited to have slept in. I have been waking up with my arms crossed in front of my face as if I was a kid asleep in class. I strolled out of bed, drank some water, played online then waited impatiently while my mother made me Mexican food. Delightful! I then opened presents from my sister who bought me.

Hopefully I will be as lovely as Lauren Conrad and as perfect as Mindy Kaling this 2014.

Other gifts include from mi madre and close friends;

This was a great birthday. I spent time with family and friends. I also had carbs which as you know very well..I love! I almost did not celebrate though and I feel immense guilt for admitting this but part of me wishes I had not. Not because I had a bad time...no no but I also just disliked this year so much and felt I had nothing really to show for it that..why celebrate? But ultimately I made the decision to celebrate because 1. I like presents, 2. I like the people in my life so why wouldn't I want to celebrate an awful year gone by that will hopefully not reoccur in 2014.

Most people would assume 2012 was a bad year for me. It wasn't I had some great moments in 2012. I got my tattoo I had wanted for years, Tudor Rose! I traveled to San Francisco and I got out of a long dead end relationship. Sounds like good things to me! 2013 has been nothing but failures and dead ends. I felt stuck. Constantly stuck. I had to relearn how to be single again but unlike in the past how I felt so much better being single than attached and if that is so will I ever be okay in a relationship again. This year asked more questions than answered. Though I still feel a bit in the mud I feel more relieved than I have been in the past.

29. Its not old but its not exactly young. I did feel like taking a nap in the afternoon.

In other news since this is techincally a health/food blog. I took photos with three friends. God. This is why I did not want a party. PHOTOS! I look like an obese Asian. Also, the curling iron I got hates my hair which really depresses me. But next year I must look at this photo. Daily. When I think about giving up just look. When I think I'd rather eat and mourn, than rise and work out. When I think I don't want to date but really I do. When I think I'm not so bad looking but could look so much better. When I ignore my constant acne and anxiously want to eat sugar. Just  look. Just look at this photo. Not the person you want to be. Not the person you wanted to celebrate. FYI I am the very fat one on the right.

I can't and will not celebrate my 30th looking like this.

Some Enchanted Evening....

Good stuff.

New years resolution: Drink more tea. I received two recommendations for a hipster tea shop right across from the parking garage I leave my car in during work. I was helped by a hipster gentleman with an afro who told me to stop sleeping on my stomach as it was bad for me. Dude I get it. I am like a walking disease but don't tell any future insurance providers.

I'll have to go back next payday as I would have bought more but buh...the holidays and rent aka student loan bill.

Enchanted Evening included lavender, mint, rose hips and chamomile. I think cinnamon as well.

Tea Press from Bodum. Tea cups from the thrift store.

Sleep to Dream

Story of MY life!
I'm writing you as a sleep deprived lady. Since well...Thanksgiving yeah...a week ago I have had trouble sleeping. I have a problem of plenty. The first being my neck is too short to support my huge head and my stomach sleeper pillows are suffering the consequences. Secondly, to support my neck I wrap my arms under the pillow. This does help but one week prior I woke up to a painfully numb hand. Think tiny knives being placed all over my palm and fingers and that's what I felt. Thirdly...oh yeah it keeps going I have nightly anxiety. I freak out about everything, how fat I am, how I wish I looked like a lady worthy of the Governor when I sleep, The Governor.......

He is so hot....

Continued How poor I am, how ill traveled I am, how my family struggles EVERYTHING!!!!! I used to stay awake at night because I couldn't imagine sleeping in a world so fucked up that animals live in puppy mills and factory farms. God damn all puppy mill people to HELL!Then it continues. I think about the ill effects this is having on my body. I am irritable at work, I don't want to work out (then the ass hole voice in my head is like if you don't sleep your work out will be ineffective and the same voice is telling me how fat I am and how I won't look like a woman unless I go to the gym) FUUUUUUCCCCKKKK YOUUUUU. Another personal reason for me worrying about my recent sleep disturbances. A mind at rest can not properly function. Sleep disorder is linked to Alzheimer s. A gene in which I do carry and am likely to get if I do not care for myself. And early onset Alzheimer's is becoming more prevalent in our society. This concerns me more than weight loss. I've seen what Alzheimer's does and I hope I do not have to go through that, let alone if I have children that they need to witness that.

Anyway I've been really bad. I've resorted to buying over the counter everything. I am keeping Zzquill and Advil PM in business. Its gotten to the point where I am in mass pain because I am not sleeping. My head feels it, my chest, my legs, my stomach everything. Since food not only affects your waistline and your new found celibacy I've decided to write about my struggle.

 

I've bought some cheap Chamomile tea but I need to visit a tea shop (not Teavana) and invest in a great blend. I regret not stocking up while I was in Chinatown a year ago, but I had I gone there first I wouldn't have had money for the rest of the vacation. I have also promised myself only 10-15 min of internet before bedtime and then it must be turned off. No exceptions not even Pandora. Then I start to read. Read till I feel sleepy and then sleep. This sorta worked last night. My body felt tired. I read a bit then tried to sleep. I think it took me longer than I would have liked to fall asleep but I did eventually. 

Here are some other tips that I will be trying and report back to on them.The last one is for me and anyone who is trying to switch to AM work outs. I prefer the evenings to work out but I really really really need to switch to the am. Especially in winter I hate going out in the dark cold night. The pro of nighttime work outs is less people and less annoying trainers. But going in the morning does get it out of the way and gives me my free time to go home and watch ten hours of What not to Wear. Pleasant Dreams everyone.

Veggies of the Snow

I hate vegetables. Mostly because I wasn't raised with them and secondly because every time I have a plate of greens before me I am like FUCK I'm on a diet aren't I? Some people think I'm crazy for my hate. I think so too. Well... a little. If you aren't raised on specific foods than adapting them into your adult life will be a harder transition. My advice to parents...make your kids eat their greens!

In season vegetables;

Sweet Potatoes:

Winter Squash:

Kale: An overrated veggie in my opinion but all the rage for health nuts.

Artichokes: These are yum and even better thrown over pizza or pasta. ( I know forever celibate.)

Celary, carrots and cauliflower:

Brussel sprouts, cabbage, and broccoli:

Leeks and Onions:

Potatoes and Radishes: Delish. Fuck paleo and other potato haters.