Warrior Dash

 A few things I learned from doing the Warrior Dash.

1. After seeing these photos I am not having intimate relations till I have dropped 30 pounds.

2. I am stronger then I gave myself credit for. I struggled running. The sand dunes run nearly killed me as running in sand is not my friend. Endurance is KEY. I read on another review of a Warrior Dash that though strength is very important, your overall endurance is going to be what gets you through this event. So fellow Warrior Dash enthusiasts, I know I hate it too but cardio, cardio, cardio!

3. Now strength training. As I said before, this is important. I hate when people tell others seeking to lose weight to avoid weight training. Muscle burns fat, what builds muscle? Strength training. Don't go bat shit if you are worrying about bulking. Two times week is fine. I am a freak of nature and put on muscle like a mutated freak so I do have to be careful how much I do. But I'd say what you want to focus on for the Dash is lower body strength. I feel that lower body strength was more important than upper. There were a ton of climb/ running up things that you just have to have your lower half be on point. Make sure you do your squats and lunges. Incorporate stairs or stair climber machines into your routine. As far as upper body, practice planks which work the entire body. Triceps and biceps need to be dipped. 

4. You do not have to do all the obstacles. If you are like me and a big chicken when it comes to heights and don't feel much for conquering your fear, then skip it. Some people feel that this takes away from the experience and people should be penalized for skipping. These people are stupid and suck. Some people simply can't overcome an obstacle physically or mentally but they signed up for the damn event because they wanted to give themselves that chance! Its their money, not yours. I skipped out on two events due to my fear of heights but I have no doubt that I could have done them. I will gladly give them a go next year.

5. Back to the number 2 topic. When I was much fitter and very briefly had a personal trainer I asked him two days after a very difficult work out, "Why am I not sore? I was absolutely exhausted afterwards." and he told me, " Your body is stronger than you give it credit for."

6. If you're thinking about doing the Warrior Dash, do the Warrior Dash! Seriously. You'll be FINE! The volunteers for the event were very helpful and it was a great crowd of people. I did exercise of course before I did the event but I'll be honest not nearly as much as I should have. Get your body moving.

7. Some people really don't like that the event is not timed. I am not a runner and I am not a competitive person, despite my Slytherin houses reputation (how cool am I?).  I never thrived in competitive sport and still don't really care to watch them, so this does not bother me. My suggestion if you want to be timed, perhaps bring your own timer? I am sure they sell the water resistant ones you can attach to your clothes. Just make sure you don't lose it in the mud.

8. If you want to avoid crowds sign up early. Before noon is ideal. My friend Jen and I agreed on the 10:45 slot and I think that was perfect. Not a long line for the restrooms, no wait for the obstacles. It was good. When we finished around noon the place was PACKED. Bathroom line was out of control and I am sure there was a wait at each obstacle. Some reviewers said they waited 20 plus minutes to do a course. This sounds terrible. I am not a morning person, but avoid the crowds and you'll have fun.

9. If you feel tired or just need to rest a bit, do it. Its one thing to push yourself but you don't want to burn out early on. This isn't a race. There is no grand prize of a million dollars at the end. Have fun. Really.

10. This event really encouraged me to get in better shape. I know. I know. I say that a lot. But usually when I say it I say it after  watching a graphic sex scene on Game of Thrones and thinking, "well fuck I need to get in shape"  or after having a weird reaction to a barely tolerable food. My swollen lip syndrome that I seem to keep getting when I eat foods that could be mutated.

*Doctor update: This summer has been AWFUL for allergies. My doctor didn't think it was anything to be too fearful of but she thinks seasonal allergies are to blame, but it could still be an oral allergy reaction. But I can't get the blood allergy test for a while as its expensive and most insurances don't cover it. *

 But this event really forces you to reexamine what you have done or are currently doing to your body. It really does test you physically and mentally. Its made me want to sign up for a 5K in the near future and another warrior dash next year.  I am looking forward to both and am looking forward to changing my body to match my fitness enthusiasm.

My friend (pictured above) is doing Tough Mudder. A 10 to 12 mile long course of some crazy crazy looking obstacles. I spent a day looking at each obstacle like; nope, nope and nope! I wish her the best of luck doing it. Will I do that in the future? If I have better health insurance and am in impeccable shape then I would consider it. Like Warrior Dash, if an obstacle freaks you out or you'd just rather not take the risk, then skip it.

*Another medical update: shortly after this event I got an ear ache of epic proportions. It was the worst pain I'd ever felt. Imagine a 12 pound dumb bell attached to the side of your head that occasionally stabs you and you can't eat or sleep or turn your head without pain. Yeah... I had advanced swimmers ear and the two theories is I likely got too much contaminated muddy water in my ear during the run or and my long weight hair just infected my hair. Its been very warm and I have been sleeping with my hair wet, so I think this is the more likely culprit. Anyway. 7 to 10 days of antibiotics better and I think it is finally clearing up enough to where I can work out again. Come on universe, give my immune system a break!*

Please feel free to laugh. These photos are ridiculous! I love the one of me crawling through mud. I look like I am crying but I swear I wasn't! 

Deep Thoughts

SIKE! Is that still a thing? Sike? Whatever, if you were born in 2000 or later than you probably don't know. In which case, it means false or just kidding, j.k as you all know.

I'm at work and its kind of a slow well...there are people and parking was kind of balls but they aren't buying by the truck load. Which is okay because I've been on the internet all day and the few visitor questions keep me busy.

I've been having trouble sleeping. I think this is due to diet. I've been eating God awful and the reasons for doing so are many. 1. I am depressed 2. I am depressed I don't make sufficient money to get a head in the world 3. I am depressed that it does take money to not just be happy but to be secure. 4. I'm depressed because I am fat. 5. It makes me eat more. 6. The littlest things seem to set me off and keep me up at night. 7. Because of all the above my body is seriously causing a revolution from within......

 I am getting grotesquely sick from high fat foods. It started out as acid reflux and then it got worse. IBS (please I won't describe it.), trapped gas which feels like I am being disemboweled, tight pinching pain in my chest that I was convinced was a heart attack that felt like this....

and nausea so bad that I was dry heaving. It takes a lot for me to puke, like too much tequila or one too many long island ice teas (early 20's) and my body has never responded more negatively to food as it has now.

After this feeling, I believe that Columbus's Curse is real. Let me explain. Brown people are getting sicker. Hispanics and Native Americans are more likely to develop gallbladder issues and insulin resistance due to the American diet. No I am not attacking dairy or meat, but I am attacking all processed foods that maybe once upon a time started out as a food group but mutated into something else. Its killing us, especially the brown people. Columbus's Curse is real.

I'm making note of all the things my body doesn't like. So far anything high in fat has been the death of me. I also had a cookie just a little bit ago since I won't be getting a real break at work and I indeed feel sick. I think its the combo of butter/sugar.

Foods I'll be consuming more of that don't seem to bother me:

Fresh fruits and vegetables
Lean protein
Rice- not fried
Potatos- so long as they are not fried.
Spelt bread
Greek Yogurt
Green Smoothies
handfuls of nuts
PHO!
Asian food that is not spicy

My family has had gallbladder issues. Two aunts and a cousin had to have theirs removed and I do not want to ever go under the knife unless I absolutely have to. I know a woman who had her gallbladder removed who ate some toxic shit and she didn't change her diet. She still has issues with digestion and rather than solve that with diet she opted for surgery. I'm an advocate for healthy lifestyle and I would suggest for anyone with mild to moderate discomfort to try to adjust/change your routine first before considering surgery. Obviously, if you are in horrid pain please get the surgery. 

Working out and losing some fat will also help me of course. But I think cutting out the fatty foods will do wonders for my waistline and high hopes of a future sex life/career.. The past two or three weeks this has been the extent of my work outs.

Other deep thoughts aside from the above.....

-The first boyfriend of mine I took to a Homecoming dance ruined my Hollywood ideal of a High School dance as his boner poked me in the stomach for three dances. No I did not alleviate that boner and I bless the stars I didn't.

- On that note as much as I'd like to go on a date, I keep having flashbacks of really really stupid guys I've dated in the past and it makes me want to scream and run. I'm certainly not opposed but every time I'm like okay, lets open a match.com profile I'm like uh nope! I do realize I run the risk of this happening though when I do date someone I am really into....

- As a potential dater I'd also like to be financially well enough to buy any potential boyfriend a quality meal. Right now I can only afford to buy a date a Costco dog. And also, if the date goes south I'd pay for my own meal. I like to give the impression I can take care of myself and don't need your stinking salad.

 - My dog keeps pissing on my rain boots for work which could mean one or two things. 1. he is expressing his hatred for the place I work 2. Its July and I should stop wearing my rain boots.

- I have been doing another Amazon free trial deal and as much as I hate amazon and feel that they are the Wal-Mart of the book world I wish I could afford the 100 dollar fee. Instant Streaming old school Degrassi Junior High and Are You Afraid Of The Dark is so tempting.

- I need to read more.

- I took a hiatus from facebook and I still hate it but can't stop.

- 5 months from now I will be 30 and I am freaking the fuck out.

- On a good note, I never wanted children in my 20s. Even in my early teens I never thought I'd have them till I was much older (if I did indeed decide to have them). I've officially made it beyond the half way point of 29 and I can say I won't have a child in my 20s. Hells yeah.

- I can't stop eating cherries.

- I need to write more.

- I want new summer clothes but alas I am 1. Too poor for even the thrift store. 2. Too fat.

- I'm out of here soon. I am hungry and even though I planned to hit the health food store, I don't think I shall. I'll just eat my weight at their bakery, even if it is vegan. 


I'll be reposting this on my other blog too. Just can't get enough!